Schoolhouse Scandals
by PanopticBibelot
Summary: Shikamaru is dating his teacher.
1. Chapter 1

Shikamaru was fucking his teacher.

Not _during _the school year.

They had met one week into summer, at a library – the perfect place for Shikamaru to sleep without anyone bothering him, lest they be kicked out – and found each other interesting. And soon they started dating.

Two days prior to the first day of school, they met up and had a night of passion, love, and lust. The memory always brought a smile to Shikamaru's face when he thought about it.

The smile had disappeared when he saw Temari, his girlfriend, sitting at the teacher's desk, shuffling through files. Shock resided in her features when their eyes met and Shikamaru was damn sure his face mimicked hers.

A good 6 seconds passed, before he calmly walked to a desk and Temari – or _Ms. _Temari – continued looking through the files.

The period went by too slowly. It was home-room, which was longer than any of his classes. Just his luck to have the longest class of the day with the teacher he was fucking.

Was.

He knew that this changed everything. He and Temari couldn't be together. Their relationship was taboo. Sure girls and boys could _talk _about an intimate relationship with their teacher, but doing so was a different matter. Still, Shikamaru felt his chest tighten. He didn't want to lose Temari. But he knew that things would have to be strictly professional. No calls, personal emails, texts, anything other than normal teacher and student interaction. He could already feel his day get worse.

The bell rang. Students jumped up and hustled out of the door.

"Shikamaru, stay after class."

Other kids turned around and stared at him before shrugging and exiting the classroom. Either he was getting called from the outstanding grades he had from the previous years or the fact that he was taking a nap during the period. Either way, it was just like him to have to stay after class on the first day of school.

Temari walked to the door, made sure it was locked, and then practically jumped Shikamaru. Her lips crashed into his.

"Damn it boy." Temari said when she pulled away. "I knew your age, but you seemed too smart to be a normal high-school student."

"My mom didn't want to have a social outcast for a son." Shikamaru said. "And you're twenty, why are you out of college?"

"Children start school earlier in Suna." Temari shrugged. They grinned before kissing again. "We are still on for tonight, you know."

"I know."

Temari smiled as he went off to his next class. A smirk was set on his lips.

The rest of the day went by and at his lunch period, Shikamaru found himself getting pulled into the storage room.

Temari's lips were at his neck. "I hope you know the rules." She said against his skin. "Teacher-student relationships are a no-no. You don't tell and I don't tell."

Shikamaru nodded before aiding Temari in the removal of his shirt. And for the 20 minutes that lunch and lasted, he and Temari enjoyed eachothers company.

Shikamaru left the storage room (his wrinkled clothes) smoothed out, whistling. Other students that passed him stared, wondering why he, the lazy, I-don't-care guy, was whistling a nameless tune.

But he honestly didn't give a rat's ass.

He _is fucking_ his teacher.

* * *

**I hope you liked. Not a lemon, just so you know. I'll add the second chapter soon. **


	2. Chapter 2

Shikamaru walked home with Ino and Choji, his best friends. Choji constantly kept glancing at his watch, waiting for the barbeque to open and Ino kept looking at herself in her compact mirror while inconspicuously checking out guys that walked past. Shikamaru had his usual slouch and bored expression.

"So what did you think of the new teacher, Ms. Tem...Tem...Temuri?" Ino asked while reapplying lip-gloss with her finger.

Shikamaru's ears perked up yet he still kept his nonchalant 'who gives?' walk going.

He hadn't told Ino about Temari being his girlfriend. Ino was loud, obnoxious, and troublesome. Nothing ever stopped her from giving his previous girlfriends the third-degree. Nothing could and he sure as hell wouldn't. The woman was damn scary. Behind all that beauty was a raging demon with a foul mouth and blazing eyes. And Shikamaru wouldn't dare tangle with that.

"She's my homeroom teacher, seems troublesome."

Ino rolled her eyes. Just like him to say that.

"Damn it Shikamaru. Use adjectives other than troublesome."

Shikamaru grunted in reply.

He could almost see the neatly clipped hedges that surrounded his house when Kiba stepped beside him.

"She's hot. This new teacher is smoking." He said with a lopsided grin.

Wherever Kiba came from Shikamaru wanted him to go back.

Ino harrumphed, puffed up her chest, and started swaying her hips even more. "She is** not **hot."

Ino liked being known as the sexy girl in school. Being one-upped by a teacher when it came to looks would be a huge blow.

"Chillax," Kiba said, "I never said she was hotter than you. But still, I'd like to bang her."

Now Shikamaru _really _wished Kiba would go away.

"That's so...ew." Ino said, cringing. "She's old."

"She's twenty. She told my class." Kiba said.

Ino still shook her head. "But she's a teacher. That's so weird."

Choji scoffed. "Last week you spent ten minutes talking about how you want to spend a hot and sexy night with Mr. Itachi."

Ino's face turned red and her voice went squeeky. "I…I…I did not!" If Shikamaru's memory is correct - and it most likely was - she had spent ten minutes describing what she would do if she had a night alone with Mr. Itachi.

Ino's eyes narrowed and her tone was accusing. "Anyway, this is not about me, it's about Kiba."

"Hey, she's hot. Who wouldn't want to screw her?" Kiba said shrugging.

Shikamaru _desperately _wished Kiba would bug off. But he kept on walking still. His house was in view and then he wouldn't have to listen to Kiba raving about _his _girlfriend.

"See you guys later." He said as he walked up to his porch and opened his door.

"My baby!" Shikamaru's mom yelled at the 17-year-old. "How was school today? Did you have fun? Did you learn anything new? You went to school looking like that? What happened to the nice button down I bought you?"

"Okay mom." Shikamaru said, not answering any of the questions and successfully confusing his mother enough to shut up and think about his reply.

In about 7 seconds his mom would speak up again. All he needed was a good five seconds to get up the stairs and to his room. He wouldn't be distracted.

_7._

He sped up, but only a little bit so his mom wouldn't get suspicious and react.

_6._

He was almost at the staircase.

_5._

Only a few seconds left and he wasn't at the stair case yet; he needed to speed up some more.

_4._

Shikamaru walked faster. He would be able to make it if he took 3 steps at a time. Just as he was about to put his foot on a step he fell.

His dad stood above him, snickering.

_3._

_2._

_1._

"Shikamaru, how dare you try to stump me?! I am your mother and I will be respected! Now apologize and stop being a jerk!"

"Sorry." Shikamaru mumbled loud enough for his mother to hear. She nodded and stormed off to the master bedroom. She had to marry a man who gave the smartass gene to her son. What the hell was she thinking when she accepted the proposal?

"What the hell dad?" Shikamaru groaned as he stood up.

"Hey, it's hard to get good entertainment nowadays. You had evaluated everything so mucking it up was all the more interesting."

Shikamaru shook his head then went up the stairs. He wanted to sleep.

**W/L/F/Y/O**

Shikamaru's nap was short-lived. Choji had come bounding into his room, grabbed a bag of chips from Shikamaru's cabinet, and began munching as obnoxiously as he could.

"So your girlfriend...is the new teacher." Choji said, pausing to chew.

Shikamaru groaned. He had forgotten that he had told Choji about the girl from the library who had argued with him about a stupid chair.

He had went out to the library for a nap and sat in the last remaining plushy chair and fell asleep. He was kicked awake and above him stood a blonde with her eybrows furrowed in frustration.

"You know, some people would like to read in nice chairs and you taking the only comfortable chair left so you can sleep is really ruining our plans. If you want to nap, go to your freaking house."

"I'm homeless." Shikamaru said hoping the girl would be shocked and bashful then leave in embarrassment.

"Well then get your ratty ass out of here and stop dirtying up the libraries furniture."

This girl was obviously an unsympathetic person with no people skills whatsoever.

"Plus, I know you're not homeless. You're like what, 16. You're wearing a t-shirt and jeans from...zumiez. And while they're nice and all, they're not the type of clothes your mother would want you walking around in. But then again you seem like a scruffy, 'I'd wear a pillow case with the arm-holes and head-hole cut out because it's damn comfortable', kind of guy. And your mom would rather die than have her son in a pillow case. So what you are wearing now is middle ground. If you have a mom who cares about appearance, she probably also cares about living conditions. Which means you have a home."

A perceptive one. Maybe he could actually have a conversation with this girl.

"Now get out of the damn chair, you bastard."

...Or maybe not.

So he reluctantly got out of the chair and the girl plopped down in it. But Shikamaru had already found her interesting so he had to ask her for her name.

And she told him only after she narrowed her eyes and said that she had pepper spray and she would use it without a regret on stalkers.

And to which Shikamaru rolled his eyes said that he wouldn't stalk her even if he was paid and then he murmered 'troublesome woman'.

So she smacked him upside the head and he said "Ow!". The conversation took off from there.

They had kept going back to the library and soon they were an item.

Choji had met Temari a little while later but only once. Shikamaru didn't expect him to remember and he didn't himself.

So…how…are you gonna….do this?" Choji asked through the chips.

"I honestly don't know." Shikamaru said.

All he could think about was Temari's reaction when she found out that one person already knew after a _day._

The raging demon inside Ino seemed like a puppy compared to what Temari was capable of.

* * *

**So I hoped you liked. Longer than the last. Tell me what you think. **

_**Hey I just met you. And this is crazy. But here's my story. Review it, maybe.**_


	3. Chapter 3

Shikamaru wandered around the school grounds aimlessly (it was his study hall and since he didn't _need _to study, his teachers let him do whatever), pondering Temari's reaction when he had told her that Choji knew. She had nodded and dismissed it with a simple wave of her hand. He repeated it to her 5 or 6 times until her eyebrow twitched and she promptly told him to get the hell out of her classroom before she failed him.

He left but only because his mom would kill him for failing calculus when he practically already knew it all.

Shikamaru was outside roaming the football field. He shook the thought of Temari out of his head and attempted to figure out the probability of a football player making a field goal of 60 yards.

Of course Temari had to sneak up in his thoughts, making him forget his math problem all together. The way she shrugged it off was foreboding. While Shikamaru found her extremely troublesome and enjoys those moments when she'd be pleasant – which was very, very, VERY rare – it still scared Shikamaru. Se could be planning something; something very dangerous, very perilous and oh-so scarring. Something that would make a grown man who was used to adventures such as: free climbing, free-falling, cliff diving, sky diving, swimming with sharks, and spelunking cry. Yes, something so dangerous an adventurer would curl up into a ball and cry for his mother. Temari's dismissive behavior planted a seed of ominousness in Shikamaru's gut. And it just wouldn't stop sprouting. It had grown so much and had reached just about every crevice, nook and cranny in Shikamaru's body that he couldn't ignore it any longer. He had to confront Temari.

**W/L/F/Y/O**

Her class was empty and Temari sat at her desk grading papers.

"Where's your class?" Shikamaru said as he slipped in.

"Free period." Temari answered not looking up.

Shikamaru took a deep breath. _Better to get to the point than beat around the bush_, he thought.

"Why didn't you beat me up after I told you that someone knew about our relationship?"

Temari looked up. "You had said only _one_ person, right?" she questioned.

Shikamaru nodded and gulped. Here comes the storm.

"Shit! Couldn't you have told one extra person so we'd be even?"

That still wasn't the reaction Shikamaru was expecting. Temari actually _wanted _him to tell people? Wait, she had said 'So we'd be even'.

"Who'd you tell?" Shikamaru asked.

Temari looked down and busied herself with taking apart her pen. "Well, I kind of told my brothers."

Silence.

Temari snuck a glance at Shikamaru. His eyes were wide and his mouth was pressed into a thin line.

"Shikamaru?"

He gulped and tried to regain composure. "From what you've told me, one of your brothers is the loud and violent type who wouldn't hesitate to punch a kid."

"That is not fair. 13 year-old. He won't hesitate to punch a thirteen year old. They're teenagers."

_Barely. _Shikamaru rolled his eyes. "And the other one is silent yet very deadly with psychopathic tendencies. And you told them, Temari?!"

Temari chuckled. "And the thing is, they want to meet you on Saturday! Surprise!"

Shikamaru almost fainted. "No, No, No. I will not meet them."

"Oh come on!" Temari said standing up and walking up to Shikamaru. "They'll love you."

"Yeah, and we'll all sing songs about how glad they are to have a _minor_ dating their sister and making her risk her job."

"Ok, you've got a point but seriously, if you don't come it'll prove to them how much of a coward you are."

"But I _am _a coward."

"I know but you can at least pretend you're not. Just come for dinner. I'll be cooking."

"I still don't kn-"

"Shikamaru of you don't come, I'll not only fail you but I'll kill you."

Damn, she was serious.

"Fine." Shikamaru relented. "I'll go."

"Good. Saturday. 7 o'clock. You know the place." She said before softly kissing him. "Help me with these papers?"

"No."

"Lazy-ass."

"Yep."

Shikamaru left the classroom to do God-knows-what in God-knows-where. But the thought of meeting Temari's crazy brothers was planted in his mind and shit, he was scared.

Troublesome.


	4. Chapter 4

**Well, I've haven't updated this for a long ass time. I was completely blocked, you know how much versions of this chapter I had typed up or written before highlighting and backspacing or crumpling up. SO MANY. And I feel like this isn't the best I could've done but I like it a hell of a lot better than the other ones. But after I wrote this I feel as if frequent updates are in store for this story. And a title change, for the love of God. **

**But I don't make any promises...**

**Hope you enjoy this chap. I feel like the dialogue is sucky, though.**

* * *

Shikamaru took the late bus to Temari's house.

He woke up from his nap at 7:30 and did not rush into the shower. Of course he was still tired, so when the warm beads of water hit down on him, he fell asleep. He didn't wake up until someone (his mom in an attempt to get him out) flushed the toilet and the water went from warm to scalding. He dried himself, took his sweet time putting on clothing before looking at the clock. It was 8:15. Shikamaru knew that Temari would be angry at him for being late but he couldn't find his shoes. And yes, he would've went downstairs to get his other pair of shoes or venture to the back of his closet to get the dress shoes his mother bought him. But he didn't want to go downstairs and face Yoshino, who by now was making tea for herself and his father. And the dress shoes were just too troublesome for the likes of Shikamaru.

So he sat on his bed and tried to retrace his steps so he could find the shoes that he knew were upstairs. But he nodded off as soon as his ass hit the comfy mattress. And when he woke up again it was 9:23. So Shikamaru stood up, stretched, and relented into going downstairs. He slipped into his shoes by the staircase and slowly crept into the kitchen. He relaxed when he saw that the witch wasn't there. Shikamaru wrote 'I'm going out. Be back soon' on the small dry erase board that hung on the refrigerator before stepping out the front door.

He walked to the bus stop and waited. It came at 9:45 and he made it to Temari's house at 10:17.

When he rang the doorbell, a redhead opened it.

"Your late." He said quietly.

No shit. "Sorry."

He let Shikamaru in and lead him to the kitchen where plates were empty and all that was left were crumbs.

"You bastard!" Temari screeched upon seeing. "How dare you come late?! I got everything prepared and you have the nerve to arrive not one, not two, but _three_ hours late. Who the _fuck_ do you think you are? We waited so long before eating. And Kankuro's _asleep_."

Shikamaru looked to the side and saw a snoring brunette's head down on the table.

"Wake up!" Temari yelled before picking up a wooden spoon and hitting him on the head.

The brunette shot up. "I was the one who killed her!" Kankuro rubbed his eyes and looked around. "…huh?"

"Killed who?" The redhead said.

"Gaara? I thought you went upstairs?" Kankuro said, trying to blink the sleep away from his eyes.

"I came back down approximately 2 minutes and 34 seconds ago. But who did you kill?"

"Temari. I got tired of her bossy, loud shit so I offed her."

"That's it!" Temari screamed before jumping up, knife in hand.

Kankuro scrambled out of his chair and ran with Temari on his tail.

"Don't you run, asshole! I'll cut you into pieces!"

Shikamaru stood there, watching this happen and contemplating whether he should stay or leave the premises before he witnessed a murder.

"Don't worry." Gaara said. "This happens almost every day. They'll be finished soon."

* * *

After about 45 minutes Temari, her brothers, and Shikamaru were in the living room.

"You didn't really have to cut me, Temari." Kankuro said, nursing the spot on his arm where a band-aid was.

"Oh come on. It's barely anything."

"Still. You actually cut me. I should report you."

"And they'll believe the big bad male instead of the small blonde woman."

"I have witnesses."

"I didn't see a thing." Gaara said.

"I try not to get involved in criminal investigations." Shikamaru stated.

"Assholes!" Kankuro muttered as Temari smirked.

Part of Shikamaru was astonished. Temari just cut her brother. It wasn't a huge gash but a small one that resembled a paper cut: barely there and barely bleeding. It was the fact that she actually cut him. With a kitchen knife, no less. But then the other part of him just didn't care.

"So you're a senior."

"No. Junior."

"Shit, Tema. You couldn't find anyone younger? Didn't you scope out the freshman? Or perhaps the eighth graders at the junior high?" Kankuro said sarcastically.

"I'll bring out the knife." Temari said casually.

"I'll call the cops."

"I fucking dare you."

"Stop it." Gaara said. "You're scaring our guest."

"Shikamaru, are we scaring you?" Temari asked, turning to her boyfriend.

"Hell, after all that knife talk who wouldn't be scared?"

"I wasn't really going to get the knife."

"Lies."

"And how do you know I'm lying?" Temari questioned.

"I just do."

"How?"

"You do this thing when you're lying."

"What thing?"

"I'm not telling you."

"Tell me!" Temari smacked his arm.

"Ow! No means no, woman!"

Kankuro watched the exchange and nudged Gaara.

"Don't you think they're a little too comfortable around each other?" he whispered to his brother.

"I don't know and I don't care."

"Of course you don't." Kankuro said before turning to the couple. "Hey. Are you guys screwing?"

Shikamaru stopped trying to pry Temari's fingers from his ear and blushed.

"That's not your business." Temari said calmly.

"Well Damn. Now you're _really_ a cougar, Temari." Kankuro said. "And little Nara, is she giving you something in return for your services? Money? Clothes?"

"…I change my mind. You should get the knife." Shikamaru said to Temari.

"That's funny. I was thinking the same thing." She said before getting up and walking to the kitchen.

"You seriously screwed up." Gaara said while shaking his head.

"No. Temari please don't. I was kidding. I wasn't serious. Don't."

Neither Gaara nor Shikamaru made a move to stop the raging blonde from chasing after her scared, younger brother.

* * *

"I think that went well." Temari said as she took Shikamaru home.

"Except when you killed Kankuro."

"He was breathing."

"There still was a scare."

"I didn't even get the knife. I just punched him."

"Repeatedly."

"Oh come on. He's fine."

"When we left he was in a comatose state."

"He was not. See? Gaara just texted me and said he's awake and screaming profanities. Back to normal."

"He probably hates you."

"Do I care?"

"I think you do."

"I think you're wrong."

"Well I think my brothers like you."

"That doesn't change the fact that Kankuro probably hates you and you probably care."

"Whatever, lazy-ass. Just get out of my car."

"So you're mad at me now?"

"No. But we're in your neighborhood."

"Oh."

She parked a walking distance from his house. Far enough for no one to see him but close enough for him to walk home with out working up a sweat.

"Still a secret." Temari said.

"Yeah, I know."

She leaned across and kissed him. "See you on Monday."

"If I'm not late."

"If you're not late." Temari agreed.

Shikamaru walked home and opened the door.

"Where have you been? Do you even know what time it is? It's one' o clock _in the morning!_" The witch screamed. "Your father and I were worried sick!"

"Dad doesn't look like he was worried."

He was on the couch, yawning as if he'd just woken up. He probably wouldn't have known his son left if his ever-loving wife didn't smack him upside the head demanding why her little baby boy wasn't back yet.

"I wasn't. You're a big boy, you can ta – "

"Shikaku." Yoshino said menacingly.

" – I mean I was so worried I could have died right here from anxiety."

His tone would've been sarcastic if he wasn't so scared of Yoshino. But they've been married for quite some time so _something _other than fear must be there.

"Whatever." Shikamaru said as he went upstairs.

"You still didn't say where you were!" His mom yelled up after him. Shikamaru could've sworn he saw horns, a forked tongue, scales, and _fire _when he turned around and faced his mother.

He gulped and pulled a plausible reply right out of his ass.

"Fell asleep on the bus on the way to the convenience store. Hours passed before the bus driver woke me up, so I asked him to take me home."

"Shikaku!" Yoshino wailed. "Look what you've done to our son. He falls asleep on busses! What if someone kidnapped him or violated him?! Or both!"

Shikamaru rolled his eyes and went upstairs while his dad blamed it on Yoshino's genes failing to pass on to their son.

"We should've tried again for another one!"

"I know sweetheart, I know."

Shikamaru shut his door before falling into bed. After the events of today he was drained and he hoped that he could sleep till noon of the next _next _day.

"Shikamaru! Come downstairs and put up your shoes!"

...But with his mother, any sleep at all seemed unlikely.

* * *

**Did you like? Was the dialogue sucky or no? Tell me in your review or PM me, either one.**


	5. Chapter 5

**READ THE A/N AT THE BOTTOM PLEASE. **

**REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW**

* * *

_Chaos. Absolute chaos._

_Temari was being pulled up by the police. People were yelling at her, throwing things. Shikamaru was crying shamelessly. The judge was calling for order. Shikamaru's dad was holding back Yoshino, who had stood up trying to lunge at Temari, fists clenched. Her brothers were yelling at Shikamaru. That he had her scorned and arrested and if he had stayed away this wouldn't be happening. _

_That it was his fault. They were right._

_If only he had stopped things when he found out that Temari was his teacher. But he didn't and look what was happening._

_As the police took her away, Temari turned and looked at Shikamaru. Tears were streaming down her face._

_He had never seen her cry._

Shikamaru woke up gasping.

A dream. Just a dream. Shikamaru ran a hand through his wet hair. Sweat.

_How troublesome, _he thought as he went to take a shower.

* * *

At school, Shikamaru avoided Temari. It was pretty easy actually. She was a teacher so all he had to do was avoid eye-contact and make it to his other classes. During his lunch period and her free period he didn't meet up with her in the supply closet or at the McDonald's parking lot where they would share a milkshake and some nuggets.

"Are you avoiding me, lazy-ass?" Temari said when he closed his locker to see her staring at him from the other side.

Shikamaru hadn't heard her come near and seeing her out of the blue caused him to flinch.

"Jesus, Temari, what are you a freaking ninja?"

"Sure, why not? But you didn't answer my question."

"Yes, I am avoiding." No use lying.

"Why?"

"Because."

"That's not really an answer, Crybaby."

"Well, that's my answer."

"If you're going to be that way…"

Temari handed him a slip. Detiontion, her class, after school.

She walked away.

Shikamaru groaned.

* * *

The clock kept ticking and Shikamaru stared at it, counting down the minutes of his hour-long detention. Half an hour had passed and Temari didn't say anything. All she did was grade papers, type on her computer, and grade more papers.

_60, 59, 59, 57, 56, 55, 54, 53, 52, 51, 50, 49..._

"We are going to talk about your unacceptable behavior." Temari said.

Shikamaru focused her attention on her without looking at her.

"You fall asleep in my class, you don't look at the board, and you get low grades on homework and tests when I know you are capable of more."

"That's what you wanted to talk to me about."

"No but I'm required to have a reason to give you detention. And writing, 'My boyfriend is ignoring me' isn't a good reason."

Shikamaru sighed. "I'm avoiding you because I had a dream."

"A dream." Temari said in disbelief.

"Yes, a dream. You were arrested because of our relationship and everyone in town hated you and…"

Temari was laughing. "What kind of sissy dream is that? I bet you were crying in it."

Shikamaru looked away.

"Oh my God, you were!" Temari continued to laugh.

"Don't be such a bitch."

Temari walked over to him and sat on his lap. "Listen, that's not going to happen, okay. Once you graduate it'll be fine."

"That'll take another school year, though."

"So? We can wait."

"We're being stupid."

"I know."

Shikamaru sighed. "We shouldn't be."

"I know. I just don't think I can quit you."

Shikamaru stared at her. "You're becoming soft."

"You're becoming a girl."

"Then you're a lesbian."

"Well, you're the manliest girl I've ever met."

"Should I take that as a compliment?"

"Take it whatever way you want."

Temari was about to kiss him when he leaned back. "Can I leave now?"

She frowned. "Ass. So you don't want to kiss me?"

"It's not that. We should be more careful. We can't be doing things like this in school."

Temari got off of his lap. "You're right...Get better grades and start staying awake in class, okay?"

"Yes ma'am." Shikamaru said before leaving the classroom and heading home.

He must be crazy. He was planning to end things today. But he walked out of the school feeling relieved that he hadn't.

Yep, he's undoubtedly crazy.

* * *

**i dont know how i feel about his one but um...yeah tell me what you think. SOOOOOOO im thinking of a title change cuz the one it is now is irrelevant af.  
****So can you give me ideas please? REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW**


	6. Chapter 6

**so...new Chap! I AM CHANGING OF THIS STORY!**

**TITLE CHANGE  
TITLE CHANGE  
TITLE CHANGE**

**It will be Schoolhouse Scandals.**

**Save it in your memory. I'm giving you a weeks notice before changing it. Another notice will be posted on my bio, so...yeah. Thank you Imperial Mutt who gave me new title name. Hugs.**

**Enjoy.**

* * *

"So me and Jennifer were talking when she left because she hates Kiki and Kiki was coming up to me. Well, Kiki had to get to class so I went over to where Lea, Sakura, Ten-Ten and Hinata were. And Lea said she had the NEWEST Louis Vuitton bag so Kiki was all like, 'I've got THE spring installment of the Burberry Spring collection.' But its fall right now so that tacky chica is irrelevant. Then Hinata had held up her hand to show off her 500 DOLLAR charm bracelet from Tiffany's and then she pushed her hair behind her ear all nonchalant like we didn't notice her gold-rimmed diamond studs. Ugh, I knew that little bitch wasn't as nice as she let off. And then Ten-Ten said that she was modeling for Nike now – lucky-ass bitch. Like I'm waaay hotter than her so why am I not modeling? It's so unfair! – Anyways, she gets all the new things–"

"Ino, I don't care." Shikamaru said. She pretended she hadn't heard him.

He knew she had.

"The new things that Nike gets in. So she's got the newest, bestest track spikes, tennis shoes, a new bat – she doesn't even play softball – and yoga pants that would make my ass stop fucking traffic! And then Sakura was like –"

"I don't care." Shikamaru tried again. She kept going.

"Sakura was all like, 'Naruto won ten thousand dollars from a radio contest and split with me and Sasuke 'cause we tricked him into giving us each 25%. So guess who got 2,500 dollars on Saturday? This pink-haired girl!' And you know what she did with that money? She fucking had a shopping spree. If you'd seen what she's bought–oh my God, you would die with envy. She made Ten-Ten look pathetic. Sunglasses, FIVE new bikinis, jeans, blazers, bras, boots, heels, and the SAME damn yoga pants that would make me –"

" –stop fucking traffic. I know, and I don't care."

Ino glared and rolled her eyes but continued anyway. "Who does that raspberry think she is? She got so much more than that, though! Fucking dresses, and handbags, and a new haircut that covers her billboard of a forehead. Like, why not me? I deserve an idiot friend who can get tricked into giving me money! I want to be a model! I want the newest Burberry bag!"

"Don't you have the newest Michael Kors bag?" Choji asked.

"It's not the same!" Ino whined. "This is so unfair. Unfair, unfair, unfair! But on a happier note, My cousin, Riko, told her friend Annie, who happens to be friends with my second cousin, Aki, who told my Aunt Tami that I'm getting something amazing for my birthday. I hope it's a new car! My Chrysler is so 2008. It's so like my dad to get me the '08 model in 2011. So cheap! Like why, dad? Does he hate me? Does he want me to die? And what was with the –"

"Ino, for the last time, I don't care." Shikamaru said louder.

"GOD, SHIKAMARU, STOP INTERRUPTING! BE LIKE CHOJI!"

Choji had found a book and was quietly reading it, popping chips into his mouth. He looked up. "I'm sorry, what?"

Ino's face turned red with anger. She lunged at Choji pulling at his cheeks. "How come you weren't listening, huh? HUH?! C'MON CHOJI, EXPLAIN TO ME, ENLIGHTEN ME! WHY WEREN'T YOU LISTENING? AM I NOT INTERESTING OR FUNNY ENOUGH FOR YOU? WHAT'S IN THAT BOOK THAT WAS SO MUCH MORE CAPTIVATING THAN ME?!"

Ino grabbed it from his hands. _'Chair assembly'._ It was a manual for Shikamaru's swivel chair.

Ino screamed and went back to pulling and pinching Choji's cheeks harder than before.

Shikamaru was about to stop her when he got a text.

_Come over. The brothers are gone ;)_

Shikamaru knows what she was implying.

_Can't. Have friends over._

_Ditch them._

_One of them will die in the hands of the other._

_Do I care?_

_Still can't come._

_Then kick them out._

_No._

_Why not? It's your house._

_They'll start wondering._

_Benefit of the doubt._

Shikamaru sighed.

_No means no._

_So you don't want me?_

_I never said that._

_You implied it._

_No I didn't._

_Yes you did._

_No._

_Yes._

She was playing with him, he could tell.

_No, I never did._

_Just come!_

_Control your damn hormones, Woman._

_If you'd be a good little boyfriend I wouldn't be acting the way you should be._

Shikamaru was about to reply when Ino snatched his phone away from him.

"What's got you so absorbed that you wouldn't even come save Choji?"

She scrolled through his texts. All thoughts of 'Whoa, this girl is such a horndog' disappeared when she saw 'good little boyfriend'. Keyword: boyfriend.

Ino screamed. Loud and Long. For a solid 35 seconds before his mom yelled for her to shut up. No one was scarier than Shikamaru's mother.

"Oh my GOD, oh my god, oh my god! OMFG, SHIKAMARU'S GOT HIMSELF A GIRLFRIEND!"

Ino decided this was the perfect opportunity to lock the spikey haired weakling and her rotund friend in the closet. She couldn't have them trying to stop her from blabbing to the girls.

She dialed for Sakura.

"Hold on. Let me add Ten-Ten and Hinata." Sakura said like Ino knew she would.

"Sup bitches." Ten-Ten yawned.

Hinata's timid, "Hey" rang out.

"Oh my gosh, guys, you'll never guess what I just found out!" Ino said getting to the point.

"What?" They all said in unison.

"Guess."

Before the three girls could actually share there guesses, Ino bowled over them. "Fuck it, I'll just tell you."

She breathed in. Dramatic pause. And then...

"SHIKAMARU GOT A GIRLFRIEND!"

"WHO IS IT? WHEN WAS IT? WHERE DID THIS HAPPEN? WHY? HOW?" Sakura and Ten-Ten screamed. Hinata gasped.

"I DON'T KNOW! I DON'T KNOW! I DON'T KNOW!" Ino yelled back. "ALL I KNOW IS THAT HE HAS ONE!"

Shikamaru had found a way out of the closet and pulled Ino's phone from her hands.

He disconnected.

He was angry.

And he pointed Ino out.

Did she care?

Not really.

Why?

SHIKAMARU HAS A GIRLFRIEND! It had been such a long time since the last one. She had thought he wasn't over it. BUT HE HAS ONE RIGHT NOW!

And that's all she could really think about at the moment. So she happily skipped out, texting Sakura, Hinata, and Ten-Ten.

Ino already knew that she was going to devote the rest of her high-school life until she found out who this girl was.

And when she did, oh when she got her perfectly manicured hands on Shikamaru's girlfriend, she was going to have the time of her life with the questions she'd be supplying.

Starting with: Why are you such a horndog?

* * *

"Man, you're screwed. She's going to tell _everyone._" Choji said, feeling bad for his fretting friend.

"I know." Shikamaru sighed.

He really wished that he was the kind of person to yell at Ino and go after her.

By eight 'o clock that night, the whole school would know.

"Damn it." Shikamaru cursed as he rolled over into his pillow and groaned. The sound came out muffled.

Choji set up shop on Shikamaru's floor, using pillows and two large blankets to create a makeshift bed.

"And you know what's worse. Since everyone would know, so would Temari."

Shikamaru rolled back over and sighed. "I know."

* * *

The next day at school, people were talking. Whispering when they passed by him in the hallway and speaking louder when they were a good distance away.

And let the Rumour Games begin, Shikamaru thought.

"Heard you have a girlfriend! Better treat her right. Don't fall asleep while she's talking like you do during class." Temari teased with a grin. Some students laughed.

But Shikamaru knew better and sunk down in his seat.

She was mad. Borderline insane with rage.

Sorry, he mouthed at her.

She discreetly flicked him off.

* * *

**And there it was. SO I AM CHANGING THE TITLE OF THIS STORY TO SCHOOLHOUSE SCANDALS! THANKS TO IMPERIAL MUTT WHO REVIEWED HER/HIS SUGGESTION!**


	7. Chapter 7

**And so an update. It has really been some time!**

**REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW**

* * *

Shikamaru had his chin rested in his open palm as he looked out the window.

Temari's class was boring.

Granted, it was not as boring as his other classes and to him, everything was pretty dull so Temari's class had to be the most interesting part of his day.

But not when she was ignoring him like this.

Oh she talked to him but in that way teachers talk to their students. She was distant, and no, he wasn't assuming it, she made it obvious on how far away from him she was trying to be.

He supposes it's for the best, they're not supposed to give anybody a whiff of their relationship but Shikamaru could feel the arctic breeze coming his way and all he wanted was _warmth._

Temari was grading papers and left the class to a stupid worksheet on satire.

God, Shikamaru hated English, but only because there was too much interpretation to a simple passage. And someone's answer is never really the right answer, to an English teacher anyway.

But Temari let them interpret what they wanted as long as it made sense.

Naruto and Sasuke were racing each other on who could finish the worksheet the fastest. Neji had unofficially joined the contest, unbeknownst to them, and was almost three quarters of the way through.

_Tch. Try-hards._

Shikamaru had decided that the paper was not worth his time or effort so instead of doing it, he shoved it to the corner of his desk and busied himself with staring at Temari.

She cracked her knuckles and rubbed her shoulders from all the writing she was doing. She looked really tired. Maybe he should get her some Starbucks. She was also looking a little thin so maybe he should buy her a BLT or something.

Shikamaru shook his head. What was he thinking? Did he really want her forgiveness that much? Enough to think about going out of his way to make her life easier?

He spared her another glance.

Yeah, he does.

* * *

"It's been a _week_, Choji. He has to talk to me sometime." Ino whined.

"Well you did disrespect his privacy." Choji pointed out.

Ino glared at him before sighing. "I already apologized."

They were eating lunch outside but Shikamaru skipped so he could take a nap on the bleachers; probably in an attempt to avoid Ino.

"Just give him time."

"I've given him a week."

"Give him more, then. You know he's slow."

"Yeah but – it's just that…" Ino paused and bit her lip. "How do I put this?"

Choji waited patiently while Ino tried to gather her thoughts and form them into sensible words.

"You're gonna think I'm crazy but Shikamaru's been acting weird."

"How so?"

"You know how Ms. Temari's young?"

"Yeah." Choji did not like where this was going.

"Well, I might be wrong, but I think Shikamaru might be – I dunno – lusting after her or something. And I think she's interested in him. Maybe that's why he didn't want us to know he had a girlfriend. 'Cause he was going to break up with her for Ms. Temari. Crazy right?"

"Yeah it is." Choji laughed. "Like, c'mon Ino. Shikamaru would probably find that troublesome."

Ino chuckled. "Yeah."

They fell silent.

Choji knew Ino was probably thinking about it; trying to piece things together. Like the after-school detentions Shikamaru was getting to Temari's class. Or how he mentioned home-tutoring once.

Ino wouldn't be satisfied until she proved whether she was right or wrong.

Shikamaru did like older women. Tayuya was older. For a while he had an itty-bitty crush on his junior high teacher's wife, Kurenai. And when he was in pre-school, all the first graders appealed to him. Same with when he was in sixth grade and the only girls he saw were eighth graders and above.

Temari was pretty and older than him and on his phone, the girlfriend he was texting was listed under T.

Maybe he was back together with Tayuya.

Maybe not.

Ino bit her lip again.

She probably shouldn't meddle. Shikamaru was already mad at her.

She should wait.

Or not look into it at all.

Ino ruffled her hair. "Ahhhh, damn! Why is it so hard to decide?"

Choji looked at her quizzically but she shook her head telling him she wasn't going to elaborate on that cryptic sentence.

Ino jumped up. "Okay!"

Choji flinched. "What?"

Ino sank back down again, defeated. "What the fuuuuck?" she breathed, it was so hard to decide what she was going to do.

What the fuck, indeed, Choji thought. He was getting kind of scared.

Ino sighed and put her thinking cap on. She didn't want Shikamaru to distrust her but she wanted to _know. _She knew that Choji knows what's going on so how come she didn't. She's known Shikamaru as long as Choji has, maybe a little longer. So why doesn't she get to know? It was so unfair. She looked at her big companion.

He obviously wasn't going to tell her. God, it was maddening!

"Assholes!" Ino yelled causing Choji to scoot away from her and reach for his second bag of chips, the one he was saving for later.

She groaned. If they weren't going to tell her, she'd just find out. But then again, she didn't want to risk her friendship with Shikamaru.

But he was pissing her off!

Maybe she'd just wait for him to come around and then BAM! She'll start figuring this out.

Yeah, that was it.

"Eureka! Call me Einstein 'cause I just found a solution to my problem!"

Ino started to dance in her seat.

Choji didn't like the sound of that. He had this feeling that whatever she concluded couldn't be good.

But he humored her anyway.

"Calm down before you hurt yourself, Einstein."

* * *

Temari wanted to go home.

Or at least be one of the students. They went home hours ago. She had to stay extra to get the lesson planned tomorrow and put grades into the computer.

And then there was that stupid meeting an hour ago. Why did she have to go? They didn't even listen to her, she was too young, they said. She sympathizes with the students, this one old lady said.

Stupid old bitch.

Now she was labeled as the Student Sympathizer.

Great. Just Great.

Temari sighed and reached into her bottom drawer to pull out the stack of papers that belonged to her third period.

Grading sucks and she needs help with the fourth period papers that loomed over her on her desk while she tried to finish the papers for period three off.

And just as she had thought that, Shikamaru walked in, pulled a cheer to her desk, grabbed one of the pens in her cup and started grading the fourth period papers for her.

Temari didn't look up; she wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of knowing he surprised her.

"Yes?" she asked.

"You looked tired today. That's all."

Temari put down her pen and finally looked at him. "What are you playing at?"

"I've already given you my reason."

"You think your sweet, don't you? That by doing this, I'll swoon, take off my clothes, and do you right here on this desk."

"Jesus Temari, can't someone do anything nice for you?" Shikamaru was getting annoyed though he was not opposed to the idea.

"Not unless they want something."

He gave her the one that made everyone angry. Temari gave him that unwavering stare that made you feel guilty even when you're not.

Troublesome, Shikamaru relented. "Fine. I have an ulterior motive."

Temari smirked at her victory. "I knew it."

"I want you to forgive me."

"What makes you think I haven't forgiven you already?"

"You're being all…distant."

"You said it yourself: strictly professional at school."

"That doesn't mean I like it." He mumbled.

"What was that?"

"Nothing."

"You are _such _a girl." Temari laughed. "So damn clingy. Should I buy you flowers?"

Shikamaru scowled. "Ha-ha, very funny."

Temari wiped at her eyes. "Okay, lazy-ass, I was mad. I still am. But only a little."

"Can you stop being mad at me?"

"Yeah…it's not that easy. I just don't want people to think you're with me. I mean…" Temari leaned in. "I could lose my job."

Shikamaru nodded. "Ino was just being...Ino. But you didn't have to be so persistant."

"You're blaming me now?"

"No...it's just...you really wanted to have sex, huh?"

Temari laughed. "Shouldn't you feel flattered? A twenty year old is taking an interest to you. I expected you to high-tail it out of your house and come knocking down my door."

Shikamaru shook his head. "You need to learn to control yourself."

"You need to learn to listen to me."

"I would've come but..."

"You're friends were there."

"Yeah."

"You could've ditched them."

"I'm not an asshole."

"Don't you lie to me."

"Why are you so mean to me?"

Temari shrugged. "It's 'cause your cute."

"Or you just love me and you act like a kindergartner about it."

"Hmmm...no, I don't think that's it."

SHikamaru smiled. "We're crazy, aren't we?"

"So crazy."

He smiled again and stood up to leave.

"Where the hell do you think you're going?"

"Home."

"Nuh-uh. You started it and now you're gonna finish it." Temari nodded at the stack of ungraded papers.

Shikamaru groaned but sat down anyway. The things he does for this woman, she's lucky she looked weak and frail today otherwise he'd be home in his bed right now.

"By the way, how'd you get in? The school entrances are locked at this time."

Shikamaru blushed. "I didn't go home."

"Huh?"

"I hid in Mrs. Tsubaki's classroom and waited for all the teachers to leave." Shikamaru said louder and more dignified but the blush still remained.

Temari grinned, walked to his side of the table, and pulled him up.

"My brothers aren't home so how about we go there? I don't think the desk could handle it."

* * *

**Hey...So did you like? I dont support Shikamaru and Tayuya or Shikamaru and Kurenai. I just needed an ex-girlfriend for him and an ex-crush. Kurenai doesnt mean anything in this story. Tayuya will prob come in later. (Dont be scared. It'll be fleeting, like a chap or two...and if I'm feeling daring i might throw in a third)**

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	8. Chapter 8

**enjoy**

* * *

News about Shikamaru's girlfriend has died down. Nobody cared anymore except Ino who kept trying to weasel out information from him in "subtle" ways.

"It's a shame that you have no one to spend your weekend with."  
"Are you coming with me and Choji or are you going home with someone else?"

Shikamaru ignored them for the most part, usually grunting in reply, but he wasn't as mad as before and continued the troublesome friendship, making sure not to give her any reason to flip out about his 'girlfriend' situation.

Things were going so smoothly too.

He spent time with his two only friends. He managed to keep his relationship with Temari secret and hadn't angered her brothers recently. His mom wasn't on her period anymore.

Life – he should have suspected something – was normal.

Then Tayuya came into town on her red motorcycle, installed speakers blaring some revamped, remixed, and heavily altered flute dubstep.

* * *

Ino, Choji, and Shikamaru had run into Temari at the mall. She had been walking out as they were walking in.

_Oh lord, _Ino thought, _she's gonna ask us about homework or some shit._

_Oh Crap! _Choji eyes darted between Temari and Ino, praying that Ino doesn't whip out her 'Super Sleuth' persona and try to solve the girlfriend case that she should leave alone.

_What the hell was she buying? _Shikamaru was eyeing the Victoria Secrets bag in Temari's hand.

"Uh…hi." Temari smiles at them.

"Hi." They mutter weakly back.

An awkward shuffling-feet second later, and Ino was trying to strike up a conversation as politely as she could.

"So…What were you buying?" she said casually.

Choji and Shikamaru smack their foreheads. _Don't ask her __**that.**_

"What?" Ino says turning to them before looking at Temari expectantly.

"Nothing important." She replies.

More awkwardness ensues when a screeching sound captures everyone's attention.

The red motorcycle was a dead giveaway that he was in trouble, but Shikamaru hadn't recognized it and failed to realize that this was the time for him to duck and cover so as not to be in _her _line of vision.

But since his memory was being very selective at that particular moment, he stares dumbfounded at the shiny, crimson vehicle that pulled up in front of the quartet.

"Sup, Rat." The driver says with a grin before pulling him in for a long kiss. "It's been a while."

Shikamaru stares back in a state of shock. "Tayuya?"

Temari bites her tongue to keep from staking her claim by grabbing Shikamaru's hand.

Choji's eyes widen.

Ino claps and squeals. "I knew you were back together with her! I just knew it!"

That worsens Shikamaru's situation further.

* * *

Temari was silent as he explained himself; no interruptions, no eye-rolls, no scoffs.

"It was a mutual break up and there were no hard feelings so she might think there's a chance of us getting back together."

Shikamaru was done and waited for the explosion to happen.

Instead, she asks one question. "Is there?"

Shikamaru opens his mouth but closes it immediately after. Temari was the one he's with and though he appreciated the relationship he and Tayuya shared, he is an honest man. Maybe if she hadn't left they'd still be together but in the end, when he pictures himself at a diner, at a restaurant, or in a park, Temari's usually the one he sees with him.

"No."

"Good."

He's doesn't think she's truly convinced.

* * *

"Yeah, Mom. I've arrived already." Tayuya says into the receiver.

_Have you seen him yet?_

"Yeah."

_How is he?_

"Well, he's taller than me now. Only by a couple of inches though." She says, playing with her Zippo lighter. She smiles softly. "He's still got his hair up all stupid-like."

Her mom laughs. _What are you going to do?_

Tayuya sighs. "I don't want to give up on my flute just yet. But I think I'll stay here for a little while."

_That's it?_

She flicks the Zippo shut. "Nah. When I'm ready to leave, I'm bringing him with me."

Her mom smiles. _That's nice, don't fail._

"Trust me, I won't."

_Good luck, Love you, Bye._

"Thanks, Love you too, Later."

Tayuya puts away her phone and lighter before stretching. "Well, money isn't just gonna fall from the sky."

She goes into the city, her bright, loud motorcycle catching the eyes of many. She parks next to a busy sidewalk and balances her flute case on her handle bars before taking out the instrument itself. She sits side-saddle on her motorcycle, perfect posture, and closes her eyes, blowing a soothing melody.

When she had enough cash, she gets a motel room.

Tomorrow's a Saturday, she thinks. I'll visit him then.

* * *

**i dont think I'll make her the bad guy here**

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	9. Chapter 9

Shikamaru had been sleeping peacefully. One of those bright, sunny mornings, where you're half-awake but don't want to get up because you can feel the warmth of the sun on your eyelids.

He'd been basking in that feeling for the better part of an hour when his mom came bounding in, ripping his door open, tearing his blinds wider until the mild sun became unbearable, and flinging his blanket off of him.

"Mawwwwmmmm." He groaned as he sat up, rubbing away the sleep and crust out of his eyes before opening them. "Tayuya?"

"Morning, Rat-a-tat, you're looking like an adorable and a lot less threatening form of hell."

"What are you doing here?"

"Well…I rang you're doorbell and you're mom let me in and she was all like, 'Tayuya!' and I was like 'Hey Mama Shika!' and then we talked and she told me to wake you up."

"But why are you here?"

Tayuya jumped onto his bed, sitting closer than an ex-girlfriend should be. "We're going on a date."

"No."

"Why? You with someone?"

Shikamaru almost said yes. He almost revealed to Tayuya about Temari but he bit his tongue. "No."

"Then why?"

"Fine." He sighed. "I'll go out with you. But only as friends."

"Fine by me." Tayuya said grinning. "Now go down stairs, I made breakfast."

In response, Shikamaru fell onto his back and shut his eyes. Tayuya huffed and...  
Picked. Him. Up.

"Hey!"

"If you're not going to walk…"

Shikamaru supposes he should be embarrassed at the fact a girl shorter than him was able to carry him. The thought of going on a protein diet and exercising passed briefly through his mind. But, as a rule, Shikamaru doesn't run unless necessary. So he let Tayuya carry him bridal style down the stairs, and yelped when she dropped him on the floor of the kitchen, and then he smiled at the familiarity of it all before dusting himself off and walking into the kitchen.

* * *

"You think she'll notice _this_ time?" Kankuro asked.

Gaara shook his head.

Kankuro took that as the go ahead to "accidently" drop one of the plates he and his siblings were washing.

Temari paused from washing to sweep up the mess.

Kankuro had dropped a total of 6 plates, 3 cups, and 2 glass pitchers. It _had _started out as accidently dropping two plates. But after the second and she _still _hadn't yelled at him, Kankuro turned it into a game between him and Gaara (who unwillingly joined but dropped one plate and .it.)

It was all very gratifying to Kankuro, yes, but now that the chance of punishment was gone, it was getting boring, and really, they only had _so many _plates.

"Temari," He cooed. "you wanna clean Kankuro's room?"

"Later." She whispered as she got back to rinsing a dish.

Gaara sputtered and Kankuro fell to the ground.

She so willingly agreed! The apocalypse? Armageddon?

"Okay Tem, what's wrong?" Kankuro said as he stood up, using the counter top as a grip.

"Shikamaru's ex is back in town."

"That bastard is cheating on you? I'll fucking kill him!" Kankuro said while Gaara had already gone off to find one of their old, steel bats.

"When did I say that?" Temari sighed.

"So what's the problem?"

"I'm just… I dunno."

"Awww, is Sissy jealous?"

"You shut up now or I'll kill you." Temari said as she washed the knife.

"Fine. Fine." Kankuro said before turning to yell behind him. "Hey! Gaara! It's off. Temari's just jealous!"

30 minutes later, and Kankuro woke up in the living room, Temari and Gaara taking residence on either the love seat or the arm chair.

"What the…"

"I told you to shut the fuck up but noooo. You had to keep poking the sleeping lion." Temari said as she rubbed her bruised fist.

Gaara shook his head. "You need to learn."

"Ahh, shut up." Kankuro said dismissively, glaring at Temari.

Gaara shook his head again and went back to the topic he and his sister were discussing before the Kankuro woke up.

"Shikamaru told you nothing would happen, didn't he? It's fine. Maybe you should text him. For, like, closure or something. I mean, don't you want to be happy? _I _want you to be happy."

Gaara had said this with the same serious look on his face that he always carried but still he managed to get a soft smile out of Temari, who stood up from the love seat and hugged him.

"Somebody's getting sweet."

Kankuro smiled. "Sugar and spice and everything nice."

Gaara's eyes flicked towards Kankuro as if to silent him but instead, Kankuro started laughing.

"Dude," He said between laughs, "after that happiness speech, it just loses the effect."

"Does it?"

The chilliness in his voice did the trick because Kankuro sank back into the couch. "No. Man, I'm so abused here." He muttered.

Temari let go of Gaara and pulled out her phone so she could text Shikamaru.

**_Hey, come over._**

_Can't._

**_Why?_**

A five minute pause.

_With Tayuya._

Another five minute pause.

**_Why?_**

It sounded like she was the ever suspicious girlfriend.

_Because she came over to my house without my knowing and said we were going on a date. I told her no but then she asked if I was seeing someone and I said no cuz I couldn't say I was seeing you. Then she asked why again so I had to say yes but I only agreed if we were going out as friends and nothing more._

As Shikamaru was writing this it seemed like he was making excuses.

It seemed that way to Temari, too.

* * *

Shikamaru and Tayuya walked through the park where she forced him to buy her ice cream. Then they went to the swing sets and swung together, talking.

No matter how much Shikamaru tried to _not _think about it, this little "outing" felt like a date.

"So, Rat-Attack, you gonna push me on this swing?"

"I'd rather not."

"Oh come on." Tayuya pouted.

"Nope."

"God, you're so fucking lazy. You're useless to this society."

"The unemployed are useless to society too."

"Kiss my ass."

"There you go commanding me again as if I'll actually do it."

"It's an expression, you dumb rat."

"It was a joke, fire-crotch."

They laughed.

"Fire-crotch?" Tayuya questioned. "I didn't think a stick in the mud like you could come up with that one."

Shikamaru shrugged. "I'm full of surprises."

Tayuya smiled slightly and twisted her swing to face his before she leaned in, still gripping the chains, and whispered in his ear. "It seems like you've forgotten but I keep things smooth and shaved." She pulled back and grinned at the blush forming on Shikamaru's cheeks. It was so very rewarding.

"We should go back." Shikamaru said quietly. He could still feel her breath on his ear and it was a feeling he remembered but didn't want to.

"Nope, not yet, you damn Rat. _We _are going to that one hill over there. To watch the clouds because I remember how much you like to."

Shikamaru agreed but only because fighting would only bring about physical pain...to him.

* * *

They stayed, lying on the grass for a moment when she spoke up.

"It's gonna rain."

"I see that."

Shikamaru did, in fact, see that. The clouds above were a gray that meant 'Thunderstorm!'. Oh how he loved Konoha and its random, sporadic weather.

"Lets go."

They walked and when they got to his neighborhood it started to rain the kind of heavy drops that fell down rapidly. In only a few seconds, Shikamaru was drenched, his ponytail sticking to the nape of his neck.

In the comfort of Shikamaru's porch, he looked down at Tayuya, about to bid her farewell, hoping that she'd return to whatever city that she'd came from and that the warm breath he still felt on his ear disappeared with her. But Tayuya had other plans as she cupped his cheeks, stood slightly on her toes, and kissed his nose.

"Still only friends." He said loudly because their faces were too close for comfort and he feared whispering would be too sensual for their current situation and that, as an effect, Tayuya would decide to kiss him.

"Jeez, I know." Tayuya said, stepping down, and removing her hands from his face. "No need to yell."

She walked to her motorcycle and when she was fully situated on it she waved Shikamaru goodbye. He waved back and entered his house quickly so he wouldn't see that half-sarcastic and half-serious kiss she'd blow towards him.

He walked up the stairs to his room and sat on his bed, plopping his head in his hands.

God, that felt so much like a date, it hurt.

Shikamaru groaned and lay down on his bed, ignoring the squish of his wet clothes. He'd catch a cold for sure.

Still, he closed his eyes and tried to fall asleep when his phone buzzed.

_That fine. You did the right thing._

**_That's*, _**he sent back to lighten the mood.

Maybe he'd visit Temari when the rain clears up.

Shikamaru closed his eyes and soon fell asleep.

He did not wake up until the next morning and he dreamt of T's and swings and the familiarity of it all.

* * *

**review**


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